AS IF THE HEAT IN WASHINGTON WASN'T ENOUGH . . .
August 4, 2016 ~ WASHINGTON, DC
Surely a long-established true Titan of his industry, even a sign at the party thrown in his honor proclaimed that when it comes to his privates, no one need worry: "It's huuuuge!" *
And that was just the beginning. By now, however, he has raised such a stink that many who came to the party to celebrate his blooming into awesome potency have left . . . retching uncontrollably as they headed for the exits. In his own way a "Lord of the Flies," even those who initially swirled around him in great enthusiasm over his outrageousness are becoming disgusted and moving on.
In a last ditch effort to spin the latest developments, his handlers have come up with a new logo and slogan which (they hope) will at least attract members of The Green Party and other tree-hugging nature lovers. Most polls say that this is too little/too late. In the words of one respondent, "Frankly this just adds to the putrefaction. What's next: rotting corpses?"
Leaders of the party could not be reached for comment.
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* Amorphophallus titanium (literally "giant deformed penis) is more commonly known as the "corpse flower" it can grow as high as 10 feet and contains both male and female sexual organs. Blooming this week at the U.S. Botanical Gardens in Washington, DC, it gets its name from the awful scent it produces in order to attract beetles and flies which then pollinate it.
A native of Sumatra, it is ineligible to become President of the United States.
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